carvemyname | red grave city au with alastor

"Hey, if you shove me like that, people are gonna think you have a thing for me."

After saying that, Dante takes one look at Vergil's disapproving face and flees through the portal.

"As if, idiot!" He grabs a piece of broken concrete off the ground and chucks it at Dante's head, through the portal. Then he sighs and looks at Vergil. "Go ahead, I'm gonna close it after myself."

Vergil nods, but before he goes - "I can kick his ass." Although from the yelp Dante made from the other side of the portal, the concrete block did strike. Maybe his ass was already kicked?

...probably not, he was too stupid to get seriously hurt.

"Already did that earlier today. Not that grinding his face into the pavement does much...sometimes I wonder if there's even anything in that skull of his to damage."

If there is, he certainly doesn't use it.

"At least someone else understands this about him."

Dante makes a whining noise from the other side of the portal. "Are you guys gonna stand around bashing me or come on over?"

"Not sure, I could go all day."

He smirks, and his tail twitches with amusement.

"Like I said, go on. I'll head through last."

Vergil heads on through, and... immediately shoves Dante the second he gets through.

"Hey!" Dante protests, and shoves right back.

Alastor steps through after Vergil, and simply allows the portal to collapse behind him. He glances around, sniffs, then rubs his nose.

"I see you haven't been doing any better at keeping this place cleaned up since I left."

"It's a lost cause," Vergil says, before Dante can say anything in defense of himself. But he's still standing there with his mouth open, so Vergil gives him a stern stare.

"You do know I'm correct."

It's a shame the biankies can't exist in the real world. They'd have this place sparkling within a day...though they might need to add some holy water and sage to their mop buckets.

"Hopefully the kitchen's just dusty from disuse and not...ugh."

Hm, but if he's going to be in the real world for a while...he should change clothes. His outfit briefly glows purple and shifts, sparking with violet electricity, into something more normal than his supervillain getup.

"Gimme a sec and I'll write a grocery list. Dante, is there any blank paper in that desk of yours?"

Suddenly, Dante only has eyes for Alastor and he seems to have forgotten Vergil entirely. "Only if you show off that ass while getting it."

...Vergil just covers his face.

"Did that chunk of concrete give you a concussion!?"

His tail lashes at the air. This absolute idiot...hopefully won't notice the violet creeping into the tips of his pointed ears.

"Just get me something to write on!"

"I think he has a permanent concussion," Vergil remarks, watching as Dante scutters off to get paper. "That would likely explain all of this, yes?"

"Why is everyone making fun of my intelligence?!" Dante demands as he gets back, handing the paper and a pen over.

He snatches the pen and paper and sulks off to sit down and angrily write a list.

"Maybe because of all the stupid things you do? Or are you still half drunk? Honestly..."

"I'm not drunk!" Dante sounds offended, even though he has a history of getting in such a way. "I'm perfectly sober!"

"You could have fooled us."

"Then do you just lack the capacity to think before you speak? Or are you that desperate?"

His tail is still swishing around behind him, though the bright violet of his ears might be more interesting.

"I just call it like I see it!" Dante is too flustered to notice the blush, but Vergil does. He leans against the wall, crossing his arms and observing both of them in silence.

He's not going to interrupt this, it's actually entertaining.

"You should try stuffing it for once. I changed clothes so I wouldn't look as out of place, not to encourage you to hit on me."

He pauses writing to point his pen accusingly at Dante.

"So you got two for one. What's the problem with that?"

Dante seriously doesn't get it. He glances at Vergil, who gives him a look back that communicates 'don't drag me into this'.

"Do I look like I want the attention of some...pizza-brained loser?"

He goes back to writing, only to scratch something out as he realizes he wrote it in the wrong language.

"Yes?"

Vergil decides that this is the time to speak up, mostly because he enjoys any opportunity to make things harder for someone else. "You are the one blushing."

Having the blush pointed out only makes his ears and face burn more. His tail smacks against the ground as he lets out a frustrated growl.

"I didn't ask you. And I am not that desperate."

"Wasn't the original problem that he was not paying you enough attention?" Vergil presses. He is not doing this for Dante's sake at all, but of course his brother has misunderstood it, looking at him with grateful eyes.

Vergil has to stop that somehow. "Shut up," he growls at him. This has no affect on Dante.

His wings tense visibly, then flap hard.

"Because I was bored out of my hilt! Not because I wanted him flirting with me. I do have standards, you know."

"Are you done with that grocery list?" is all Vergil asks in return as he holds his hand out, completely ignoring what he feels is useless denial.

"I have standards, too!" Dante says, to which Vergil laughs mockingly and is ignored. "You just happen to meet them."

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