Don't underestimate him. He's capable of thinking, when he actually tries.
[ The problem was that Dante didn't like to try. Vergil nods to him, then heads out of the room, passing by his brother in the doorway. He peers at him suspiciously, trying to make out whether or not he heard anything. ]
Go snuggle your cat. [ He settles on saying finally, and leaves, Dante just looking confused. ]
[He lifts his feet up to make room for Dante...and then immediately proceeds to use him as a footrest. His toes are also clawed, though he's careful not to let them snag on anything as he moves to lay on his back again.]
Depends...I do like physical affection, just...y'know. Mind the pointy bits, I doubt either of us feels like scrubbing blood out of the couch.
It'd probably be up to me, right? Since I've got all the chores?
[ Dante decides to apply his hands to finding out if he can do a foot rub without cutting himself. It seems easy enough, right? He's pretty good at all sorts of massages, anyway. ]
Unless you're not so good at it, but something tells me you've had practice.
[The structure of his feet is a bit odd, given that he only has four toes and two of them start further back on his foot. Still, the heel and ankle are the same as they would be in a human, so it shouldn't be impossible to figure out. And from the way he stretches his toes, it seems he does enjoy it.]
That wasn't a compliment, you goofball. If your blood crystalized like mine, you'd be rich just from how much of it you lose. Or whoever cleans up after you would be.
Told you there are a good few reasons I hate keeping them hidden.
And I do! Knew the locations of some old valuables to get me started, and...well, let's just say I have an in with a director who owes me a cut. I'd even say my contributions are the best parts of his films.
[He's about to ask if Dante can even afford fast enough internet for that or if he'll have to find a new ISP for them, when Dante hands him something he can't pass up commenting on. He grins, mischief written into his every feature.]
I think that's a trophy wife...though, you could still stand to take better care of yourself. And maybe either ditch the scruff or commit to the goatee, it kinda makes you look like a hobo.
Learning to cook would be a good start, though. Can't rely on me all the time.
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Sure, I guess.
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Arrange a date before he can. If he succeeds first, he'll be obnoxiously proud, while if you do, he'll just be grateful.
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I'll keep that in mind. His idea of a date would probably be all kinds of lame, anyway.
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[ The problem was that Dante didn't like to try. Vergil nods to him, then heads out of the room, passing by his brother in the doorway. He peers at him suspiciously, trying to make out whether or not he heard anything. ]
Go snuggle your cat. [ He settles on saying finally, and leaves, Dante just looking confused. ]
...what?
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Apparently he thinks I look like a cat when I relax like this.
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[ Dante heads on over and pushes himself onto the couch, trying to fit himself into whatever space is left. Personal space, what's that? ]
Do you like being pet like one, too?
[ He wonders if he should ask what they talked about. He wonders if he'd regret asking. ]
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Depends...I do like physical affection, just...y'know. Mind the pointy bits, I doubt either of us feels like scrubbing blood out of the couch.
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[ Dante decides to apply his hands to finding out if he can do a foot rub without cutting himself. It seems easy enough, right? He's pretty good at all sorts of massages, anyway. ]
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[The structure of his feet is a bit odd, given that he only has four toes and two of them start further back on his foot. Still, the heel and ankle are the same as they would be in a human, so it shouldn't be impossible to figure out. And from the way he stretches his toes, it seems he does enjoy it.]
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[ Dante is kind of making fun of himself here, but that might not be quite clear. He applies his thumbs firmly, but his fingers in a lighter stroke. ]
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[ But, his blood is like a normal human's. Still sellable, but that's not something he does. ]
At least it's easier to drink like this.
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[He stretches his arms above his head...certain to keep his diary in hand.]
But maybe I'll put some of my own resources into fixing this place up. Just how long have you had that pan I used?
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Uh... longer than I've had the place?
[ He laughs and stops the massage, flopping onto Alastor with his whole weight. ]
You might regret putting any money in! It's gonna take a lot of work to look decent!
[ No, he's not really taking this seriously. ]
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[He's not wearing his armor, so that flop knocks the wind out of him. He laughs, though, and wraps a wing around Dante's shoulders.]
Yeah well, I've at least gotta get the kitchen up to snuff. It's gonna be seeing a lot more use now, after all.
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Do you even have any money?
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And I do! Knew the locations of some old valuables to get me started, and...well, let's just say I have an in with a director who owes me a cut. I'd even say my contributions are the best parts of his films.
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[ A thought occurs to Dante then, and a strange look crossed his face. ]
You realize if you start paying for stuff I need, that makes you my sugar daddy?
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[He kisses Dante's cheek, then ruffles his hair.]
I'll check and see if any of them are running nearby. Though...I'll have to look into rentals for my debut.
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[ Dante then has a thought and looks like he doesn't know what to do with it. ]
Wait... If I'm being provided for, and doing all the chores... Does that make me the housewife?
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Sounds like it to me.
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[ Oh well, at least he's not making comments about himself ending up pregnant. ]
I'll have to learn to cook!
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Learning to cook would be a good start, though. Can't rely on me all the time.
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Sure, but I'm not sure those are the standards I'd want to aim for.
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